“I just keep on not knowing, and I cling to that like a redemptive handrail.” -Wyslawa Szymborska There’s this picture of my sister and I from when we were little – probably 4 and 5 years old respectively – sitting in our playroom on top of a small table. In the photo, my sister is staring at the camera smiling while I am bent over a book in the...

(Written for the blessed cat that stalks me from afar. One of the many critters that visits me daily, but has no intention of being my friend.) I know why my Cat loves me. I don’t chase him around, demanding his attention. I don’t try to bait him with food. I let him go where he pleases, Never ask when he will return, Nor become cross when he hasn’t been by...

The second thing I hate most of all in the whole world is feeling helpless. The first is actually being helpless. I hate it so much that I have no sophisticated thoughts about it. I’m sure there are meaningful conclusions one could draw regarding its purpose in the world: some kind of energy balance or yin vs. yang, but for me that’s all crap. Being helpless...

You were a shock to me at first. My body rejected you completely. My skin shrieked, and so did I at your initial touch, so soft yet so aggressive and shockingly unwelcome. Yet I knew I needed you. Your touch was to be my restoration after the heat of the day had worn me down, and the intensity of the feminine surrounding me: Expectant mothers, eager students, frantic...

I had no idea I was going to be at a birth that day. I had spent all morning editing Robin’s book, and was extremely satisfied with my work. It was time to show her what I’d done, so I decided to go to the clinic with the hope that I could catch her in an idle moment. Soon after I got there, Robin came swooping in. “Oh Devin, I’m glad you’re here. I tried...